Half hope, half dread

So, for those of you who haven't heard, I am moving to Ireland. Yes, I am in fact one of the luckiest people on the planet. When it comes to academic goals and location dreams, I tend get what I want. It is sort of the awesome. However, as the deadline for the big move to the one place on earth I have always wanted to live draws closer and closer, I keep hearing a tiny voice in my head whispering "be careful what you wish for." Having never been to Ireland before, I am flying blind in to an unknown, wondering if it is going to be as wonderful as it is in my dreams.

Now, I am sure there are going to be vast differences and the reality of it will be so different than the images I have created in my highly active imagination but I am scared to death it will fall short. (Got to love the pragmatist in me, and by pragmatist, I mean pessimist.) As I worry about it falling short, I remember being on Woburn Walk, standing in front of his (W.B. Yeats, for those of you who are new to the show) door and that strange mixture of total peace and mind blowing joy I felt standing in a place where he spent his days, coming and going, writing some of the plays/poetry/essays I have poured over, and working as a voice for the Irish people in British Parliament. It was magical and hands down the most complete and at home I have ever felt. Now stick me in a city which has not only his influence, but also that of Shaw, Synge, and my good friend Behan.... (I certainly do love my Irish playwrights) I cannot even begin to imagine anything about I will feel. The swing between these two emotions is exhausting.

I am certain there are going to be moments which suck, where the loneliness will be so extreme I will question my resolve, but that can happen anywhere, in the same way I am certain there are going to be moments which are so amazing my heart will feel like it will burst from joy and I will  long for a pause button on life to savor it for as long as possible.  All I know is it is a scary place to be standing on the edge of what you have worked and dreamed of your entirely life. I just hope Ireland and I are are ready for each other.